When Your Health Changes: The Psychological Impact of Illness, Surgery and Recovery

There are times in life when your health changes in a way you weren't expecting.

Perhaps you have been diagnosed with an illness, told that you need an operation, or suddenly find yourself having investigations for something that hasn't been explained yet. Perhaps you have had an accident or developed a health problem that has changed what you can do.

Whatever the circumstances, there may be a psychological impact that isn't always talked about.

When something happens to your health, your attention naturally turns towards what needs to be done. There are appointments to attend, decisions to make, tests to have, treatment to consider and practical things to organise. You may be focused on getting through it and doing what you need to do.

But alongside all of that, you may also be dealing with uncertainty, fear, frustration or a sense that your life has suddenly become unfamiliar.

When Your Body No Longer Feels the Same

We tend to take our bodies for granted when they are working as we expect them to.

You get up, go to work, exercise, travel, see friends, look after other people and get on with your life without having to think very much about what your body is doing.

Illness or injury can change that.

You may become much more aware of your body. A pain you would previously have ignored can become something you think about repeatedly. You may notice every new sensation or change. You may find yourself wondering whether something is normal, whether you are recovering as you should be, or whether something else might be wrong.

There can also be a loss of confidence in your body.

If you have always been active and independent, needing help or finding that you cannot do things in the way you used to can be surprisingly difficult. Even temporary limitations can affect how you see yourself.

Your body may no longer feel quite as familiar or dependable as it once did.

The Emotional Experience Before Surgery

Being told that you need an operation can bring a mixture of emotions. You may feel relieved that there is finally a plan. You may also feel frightened about what is going to happen. You may be thinking about the anaesthetic, the pain, the recovery, the possible outcome or how long it will be before you feel like yourself again.

Sometimes there is very little time to process any of this. You are given information, asked to make decisions and expected to prepare yourself for what is coming. It can feel as though you are dealing with the practicalities while another part of you is still trying to take in the fact that this is happening at all.

And if you are someone who is used to being capable and independent, becoming the person who needs treatment can feel particularly uncomfortable. You may find yourself thinking, I just want this over with. That is understandable. But the emotional experience doesn't necessarily end when the operation does.

When Recovery Doesn't Go as Expected

We often imagine recovery as a fairly straightforward process. You have the operation, you rest, you gradually get stronger and eventually life returns to normal. Sometimes it does work out that way. But recovery can also be very unpredictable.

You may improve more slowly than you expected. You may continue to have pain or other symptoms. You may have setbacks or need further investigations. You may find that something which seemed relatively simple has had a much greater impact on your everyday life than you anticipated. This can be difficult psychologically.

You may feel frustrated with your body or angry that you are still not better. You may start questioning whether something is wrong because you haven't recovered in the way you expected.

There can also be a particular kind of loneliness in recovery. The operation may be over and other people may assume that the difficult part is finished, while you are still dealing with its consequences. You may look well from the outside while feeling very different inside.

When You Have to Depend on Other People

Illness and surgery can change relationships too. You may suddenly need practical help from your partner, family or friends. Perhaps you need someone to drive you somewhere, help around the house or simply be more patient while you recover.

For some people, receiving help is feels good. For others, it can feel uncomfortable or even exposing.

If you are usually the one who looks after everyone else, being looked after can bring up feelings you weren't expecting. You may feel grateful and vulnerable at the same time. You may worry about being a burden or become frustrated that you cannot do things for yourself.

Sometimes this can create tension in relationships, particularly when everyone is tired and trying to adjust to circumstances that none of you anticipated. It may take quite some time to find a new balance.

The Anxiety of Not Knowing

One of the hardest parts of a health problem can be uncertainty. Waiting for an appointment, a scan, a biopsy or test result can leave you in a difficult space where you don't yet know what is happening. Your mind may try to fill in the gaps.

You may find yourself imagining different possibilities, searching for information or repeatedly going over conversations with doctors. Sometimes this can be useful, particularly when you are trying to understand your options. But it can also become exhausting when there is no new information to resolve the uncertainty.

You cannot always think your way out of not knowing. Sometimes the most difficult part is having to wait.

When Your Sense of Yourself Changes

Health problems can affect more than what you can physically do. They can change how you see yourself. Perhaps you have thought of yourself as strong, energetic, independent or someone who simply gets on with things. Suddenly finding yourself limited or dependent can challenge that sense of identity. You may also begin to think differently about your future.

Things you had assumed you would be able to do may no longer feel certain. Plans may have to change. You may start thinking about your priorities, what matters to you and how you want to spend your time.Sometimes a health event brings questions that had been sitting in the background into much sharper focus.

That doesn't mean you have to find a positive meaning in what has happened. Not everything that happens to us needs to have a silver lining. But it can be important to have somewhere to think about what the experience has meant to you.

When Everyone Thinks You Should Be Fine

There can be a strange period after treatment when other people begin to move on before you have.

They may be relieved that the operation is over or that the treatment has finished. They may ask how you are and expect the answer to be fine. And perhaps medically, you are doing well. But being medically better and feeling psychologically recovered are not necessarily the same thing.

You may still be processing what happened. You may still feel anxious about your health. You may be rebuilding your confidence in your body or adjusting to changes that have remained after treatment. Sometimes there is also a pressure to be grateful because things could have been worse.

Gratitude and difficulty can exist alongside one another. You can be grateful for treatment and still feel frightened, angry, sad or changed by what you have experienced. There is room for all of those feelings.

Giving Yourself Space to Process What Has Happened

When your health changes, there can be a tendency to focus entirely on getting through it. That may be exactly what you need to do at first. But once the immediate demands have eased, you may begin to notice what the experience has actually been like for you.

Perhaps you are still carrying fear from what happened. Perhaps you are struggling with changes to your body or your independence. Perhaps you have become more aware of your own vulnerability, or you are thinking differently about your life and what you want from it.

You don't necessarily need to have a particular psychological problem to find therapy helpful.

Sometimes you may need somewhere that isn't another medical appointment. Somewhere you can talk about what has happened without having to reassure anyone else, minimise it or put a positive spin on it. Therapy can offer space to explore the emotional experience of illness, surgery and recovery at your own pace.

It isn't about telling you how you should feel or trying to find a lesson in what has happened. It is about making sense of your experience together and having somewhere to think about and feel what you need now.

Your health may have changed, temporarily or permanently. Your body may feel different. Your circumstances may have changed with it. You don't have to process all of that on your own.

If you would like some space to talk about what you have been experiencing, you are welcome to get in touch to arrange an initial consultation.